Count Binface has launched his manifesto for the by-election at Clacton. But will he get to appear on Question Time? Will he wear a special gold plated bin by the seaside?
Knowing the area quite well, here are my suggestions of additional pledges:
- Bring back beach inspectors on Frinton beach
- Reinstate the railway on Walton Pier
- Statue of the Duke of Connaught on the Greensward at Frinton
- Passport control at the one road across the railway at Frinton
- Restore second platform at Frinton station
- Rename Thorpe le Soken station as Farage On The Soak
- Bring back Claction Interval Service hauled by Britannia locomotives with toasted tea cakes served in the restaurant car in the afternoon
